A Terrifying Tale of Travail in Three Parts
by crankyhermit
Summary: Arthur and Merlin run from a dangerous monster, and very little else happens.


**A Terrifying Tale of Travail in Three Parts  
**Written for a challenge based on three pictures that cannot be linked here. **  
**

Part 1: Apple or a Bull's Eye

Arthur peered cautiously around the corner, hand white-knuckled on the hilt of his sword. Merlin simply leaned against the mossy stone wall and bent over, trying to gasp for breath quietly.

Somewhere in the twisting passages of the stone maze, they could still hear the monstrous bull-headed man bellowing in rage at their escape. The strange way sounds echoed and blended in this accursed place made it impossible to tell whether the creature was near or far.

"You missed," Merlin said when he had enough air to talk again, because he felt it could not be said enough times. "You had a perfectly clear shot, and you missed!"

Arthur spared a quick, angry glance back at Merlin over his shoulder. "You couldn't make up your mind whether I was supposed to aim for the heart or the right eye! While that thing was charging at us!"

"Oh gods," Merlin said, stunned. "I'm glad you have terrible aim. I was telling you to aim for the part on his right thigh with the glowing sigil! That's Gwaine out there!"

"Gwaine? How did he-" Arthur broke off as the monster appeared at the far end of the corridor and spotted him, then began thundering down at them again, still red-eyed and bellowing.

"You really weren't listening, I said it was an enchantment," Merlin sputtered and ran out of breath again. Arthur simply grabbed his arm and dragged him along when he started to lag behind.

Behind them, they could hear the transformed Gwaine wail something that sounded like "MOO-IN".

* * *

Part 2. I Ate a Grape and I Liked It

"That's not going to put him off for long," Arthur hissed, crouching behind the stone wall Merlin had somehow, in a startling moment of inspiration and competence, ripped from the maze and put between them and Gwaine. "He can just go around it and find us again."

"Wouldn't happen nearly as quickly if you didn't keep telling him where you are with your babbling," observed the griffin statue perched atop the wall. "It's not just walls that have ears, you know. I can see your friend's fuzzy cow ears moving."

"Shouldn't you keep quiet as well?" Merlin felt moved to point out while Arthur's mouth worked soundlessly as he stared up at the talking gargoyle.

The other gargoyle beside it bit into one of the stone grapes clutched in its claw with a low crunch. "Why? We're not trying to hide from anyone. Do you owe the Minotaur money?"

This snapped Arthur out of his shock instantly as he turned red with indignation. "What, owe- if anything, he owes me money! All those tavern bills, the ale and pickled eggs-"

"Arthur, behind you!" Time froze for an instant, just long enough for Merlin to rush forward and push him out of the way.

* * *

3. Strength and a Fool

Whatever little breath Merlin had managed to recover during the few moments's respite behind the wall with the overly chatty gargoyles was all knocked out of him in the next instant.

It was his understanding that in moments such as this, his life was supposed to flash before his eyes, but all that flashed before his eyes was the rough grey stone of the walls, Arthur's shocked face, and Gwaine's hairy chest.

Merlin found a moment to feel deeply disappointed that his life was going to end crushed to a huge furry chest that smelled a lot like hay and cow.

There was a roaring in his ears like the sea, or perhaps a very enthusiastic Gwaine hugging him while bellowing "MOO-IN!" and Merlin wondered at the strangeness of this afterlife while a voice that sounded a lot like Arthur demanded that Gwaine unhand Merlin right now, and Merlin decided that it was possible that he was not dead yet.

He managed to push his face free of Gwaine's chest and grunt, "poke the apple," at Arthur before he blacked out.

When Merlin woke, it was to Arthur's disgruntled face, which, while not the best scenario he could think of, was still much better than a faceful of furry monster chest. "Where's Gwaine?" he croaked, and Arthur's face turned even more disgruntled.

"Merlin!" Gwaine popped up at his side, looking happy and ruffled, with his hair sticking up in all directions. "I was just talking to the gargoyles over there," he pointed, and the one without grapes waved a claw at them. "They said we're nearly at the exit now. Thanks for lifting the enchantment on me, by the way."

"Let's get out of here, then," Arthur grumbled, and managed to look amazingly tetchy considering that they had managed to retrieve the key to lifting the curse on Camelot safely, broken the enchantment on Gwaine without serious injury to anyone, and were nearly free of the ridiculous maze that they had been trapped in for three days. He stomped off.

Gwaine grinned and bent near to whisper in Merlin's ear as he pulled Merlin to his feet. "Go soothe the princess, he was worried to hair-pulling by your fainting fit."

"I didn't faint, I passed out from lack of air," Merlin protested, but hurried to catch up with Arthur anyway.

**The End**


End file.
